He's a volunteer

The call didn’t sound good....it was paged to both ambulance and fire as a traffic accident with injuries and extrication. One person trapped in the vehicle and the car was on fire. Over the years I’ve learned to try not to think too hard about calls like that, till he gets home. So much could happen either way to the victims and the rescuers. There is the initial “be careful” to him as he goes out the door and the prayer in the heart “keep them safe, all of them”. Then you just wait for the report, but rather than think about it, do something else. 

There is something about a volunteer fireman. (That’s what Karl is.) They do this in addition to their regular jobs. They choose to serve in this extra way. They work hard and are trained well to do this “second job”. Each call they go on has the potential for danger, and while I worry about him getting hurt physically (it’s happened), I think I worry more about him being hurt emotionally.  Thankfully most calls end well, but not all. Sometimes it just doesn’t go well or no matter how hard they try, there is nothing that can be done or maybe someone even makes a mistake...those calls hurt, emotionally, every time.

Enough time serving on a fire department will show you terrible, horrific things...Karl’s seen them, been in the middle of them, some I didn’t really find out much about until several years later. Most rescuers usually try to be aware of the public when they speak,  but sometimes they are criticized for making jokes and “laughing it up” after what would be considered a tragic or dangerous call, in the presence of observers.... “How can they do that, someone was hurt....., a home was lost....., someone died?” the observer may ask. It isn’t disrespect, or callousness, it’s survival. I don’t know that I can explain it, but I’ve seen it and come to understand it over the years. There is the need to stand back and breath, collect oneself, separate from the situation even if just for a minuet, after it’s over before the evaluations start. Was it done correctly? What went right and wrong?  What could I have done differently? And those questions come first on a personal level... 

So why has he stayed, kept going on the calls? It is a volunteer position after all. Is he an adrenalin junkie? There might be a little of that. Is it the pay, NOOO..... For every sad or horrible call, there are many more that end well, because they were there, because he was there. This job is in his heart.....he cares and can still make a difference. As long as he can do that he’ll stay. And he’s not the only one, the department is full of men like him. I love my volunteer especially, but am grateful for them all, every call.

Tonight, their part of the call went well... fire out, victim out, then the pager went off again...